I thought about death for the first time in a long time today.
I still remember how cold the blade was on my skin
And how warm the blood was when it escaped this body like I wished I could.
But where the scar tissue is
Stands now a more prominent etching
Reading clearly 6-8-6-3
And I remember that apartment
I remember the pain
I remember the self hatred
I remember the roof
I remember looking down
I remember knowing that I’d never make it out.
Yet here I am.
And I remember the healing
I remember the joy
I remember the day I laughed
I remember smiling
I remember the first time I ever felt peace.
I remember that I’ve beat this shit before
And I remind myself I’ll beat it again.