The Victor

I thought about death for the first time in a long time today.
I still remember how cold the blade was on my skin 

And how warm the blood was when it escaped this body like I wished I could.

But where the scar tissue is

Stands now a more prominent etching 

Black ink 

Reading clearly 6-8-6-3

And I remember that apartment 

I remember the pain 

I remember the self hatred

I remember the roof 

I remember looking down 

I remember knowing that I’d never make it out.
Yet here I am. 

And I remember the healing 

I remember the joy 

I remember the day I laughed

I remember smiling

I remember the first time I ever felt peace. 
I remember that I’ve beat this shit before 

And I remind myself I’ll beat it again. 

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