The Antagonist 

As you lie by my side,

Your cool nails on my warm chest Slice my heart in two-

And if I could make myself love you, 

I would.

I’ve tried to ignore this pang.

I’ve tried to dive head in.

I’ve tried to be different.

I’ve tried so hard to make you realize that it’s something wrong with me,

That I am the problem.

It’s not that you’re not enough, 

It’s that I am too much.

It’s that for some reason I can’t accept the one person in my life who truly loves me.

It’s that I hate myself for it,

It’s that hate myself for hurting you 

And I hate myself for not being a man enough to stop hurting you,

And I hate myself for feeling bad for myself when I know that I am the bad guy in our story.

But this is real life, 

And what they don’t tell you in the movies is a painful truth; 

In the end, the bad guy ends up hurting himself just as much as he hurts everyone else.

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