“Just because I don’t support you doesn’t mean I don’t love you”Is the line I’ve heard a hundred times,
And 99 times the person saying it doesn’t even know they’re speaking to me.
It doesn’t feel like love though,
It feels like hate.
It feels like the walls around me are crashing in,
And no one can see it happening except for me.
The uncertainty is daunting.
I have my doubts,
Every single day
Maybe I’m wrong,
Maybe I’m a mistake
Maybe I need to change-
-BUT I HAVE TRIED TO CHANGE-
I have felt so uncomfortable in my own skin at times
That I wish I could tear it off.
I’ve pulled and stretched and scratched,
I’ve wept on my knees,
Begging for God to peel it back,
But it seems my efforts are all for naught.
So I slip into a false skin
Made of plastic smiles and silent consideration
And it fits like a glove:
A latex glove on the hand of a giant
That grips me so tight,
I am not able to breathe.
THIS is what people want.
They would rather me suffocate
Trying to cover up what I really am
Than to shed this disguise
And reveal the naked truth.